


In the Name of Panlix

by anonymous639



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Crack, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Random word generator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-17 01:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2291462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous639/pseuds/anonymous639
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>100 one-word prompts, each at least 100 words. All Panlix, 'cause I was disappointed when I didn't see one of these things for this pairing. </p>
<p>(This is what I do with my life when I don't have the time/energy/focus for a ~3000 word one-shot or addition to a multi-chap...So expect crack. And slight OOC at times.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Set

**Barrier**

“Peter?” Felix called, looking around for the brunette. To tell the truth, he was nervous about meeting his king alone. In the half-century he had been Peter's second, he had not spoken to him in private once, but this was, according to the brunette, a sensitive matter.

It wasn't that Felix was frightened of Peter-he only wished that was the case. Rather, he was.... _transfixed_ , by the shorter boy, always marveling at his good looks, charm, and snark. His antics were often cruel, but such things were not new to the lieutenant. Felix had learned to see the humor in them, to appreciate the cleverness that came so easily to his leader.

What Felix was afraid of was revealing his attraction to his king's body and mind. If it was just the former, Peter would probably laugh in his face and spend the next century taunting him about it; he wouldn't be angry. With the combination, Felix feared he would be seen as 'pathetic' or a 'liability'. There was a barrier between them, one that Felix could not toe without risking himself and his boys, who would surely feel the effects of that anger and would no longer have the blonde to look after them.

A twig snapped to the left, and within moments Felix found himself pinned against a tree. “Wha-”

“Did you really think I wouldn't notice?” Peter asked, smirking up at his captive. “It's _cute_ how scared you were, but I'd say it's time we stopped these games.”

 

**Sardine**

“Sardines are disgusting,” Peter complained, picking at his pizza.

Glancing up from his own plate, Felix smiled to himself at the disgusted expression. Picking up his one slice, he was about to bite into it when-

“If you eat that, I am not kissing you for the rest of the day.”

“If you would just try them-”

“ _No,_ ” Peter practically snarled.

“They're fish, you love fish," Felix argued.

“I love cooked fish that has been seasoned.”

“You ate sushi and you _loved it_ , remember?”

“This is getting us nowhere. Next time I'm ordering the pizza,” Peter declared, dumping his plate in the trash.

Sometimes Felix forgot how much of a child the brunette could be.

 

**Seagull**

Lying awake in bed that early morning, Peter was tempted to buy a gun for the explicit purpose of shooting those damned birds. Usually he would stick to a knife or a baseball bat, but the seagulls deserved something special. It was the ungodly hour of 4:32a.m on a Saturday morning. No one, sane or not, was willingly awake. Especially if sleep hadn't come until passed two in the morning.

Rolling over, Peter tried to shut out those damned birds and their thrice-damned cawing, but soon had to give up. Stumbling to his feet with the grace of a drunken sailor, Peter groaned aloud and tripped over himself twice on the way to the coffee pot, only to realize that that one damned thing he had forgotten to get at the store yesterday was, of course, coffee. Scowling, he slammed the pot back onto the counter and wondered, sullenly, back into his room to get changed. Fortunately for his mental health, there was a Starbucks just down the street.

On his way out the door, Peter knocked right into another boy, spilling coffee all over both of them. He was about to punish the idiot when silver eyes caught his and Peter was most definitely _interested_ in this one.

 

**Lasso**

The tavern was a lonely place, barely receiving enough customers to make the bills. Felix himself often had to choose between food and shelter when the rent came due, but there was little room for legal work in the dying town.

Hearing the doors swivel open, he plastered a (fake) smile onto his face and turned to welcome the newcomer, only to stop short when his eyes were met with Peter Pan. As in, _the Peter Pan_. The number one criminal in the country, whose magic made him impervious to capture and death alike. They said he didn't so much as age, forever seventeen.

While  _wary_ of the very real possibility of having his throat slit or being turned into a beetle or who even knows what with this guy, Felix remained calm on the outside, though his 'smile' had slipped into nonexistence.

The blonde watched as Pan sat at a table off in the corner, crossing his legs and waiting impatiently for service. Committing to the plan of treating him like any customer, Felix walked confidently over to the brunette. “What can I get you, sir?” he asked, taking out his notepad.

“Whiskey would be fine,” Pan said, eyes looking him up and down with an undeniably _hungry_ look.

“The brothel's down the street,” Felix stated blankly, momentarily forgetting his fear thanks to the typical response.

“Why would I pay for a night's worth of pleasure with a whore when I can just lasso you and keep you forever?”

Flabbergasted, Felix just stared at the criminal.

“I've been watching you, _Felix_ ,” Pan continued, “and so far I've liked what I've seen. You're wasted here.”

Rising to his feet, the brunette shoved a cloth purse filled with jingling coins into the blonde's hands. “Forget about the whiskey, I've some business to attend to with an _old friend_. Be back to collect _you_ later.”

Crowding into Felix's space, the boy kissed his cheek and then vanished into thin air.

 

**Tar**

Coughing into his fist, Felix glared at the medicine that was supposed to make him feel better. His mouth felt like he had been chewing on tar, his headache was to the point where he felt his skull was in danger of splitting in half, and the boys were doing everything in their power to be difficult.

Not on purpose, Felix reminded himself, trying not to flash back to just an hour ago when one boy had accidentally set another boy on fire. Fortunately for both of them, Peter was there and, feeling generous, had put it out with a flick of the wrist. That just left Felix to punish the little pyromaniac and tend to his victim's burns.

Still, it had been a long day. He wouldn't even be sick if his king hadn't _insisted_ on skinny dipping last night...

 

**Crispy**

“This is too well-done,” a customer complained, waving his chicken sandwich in front of Felix's face.

“I'm sorry, sir, you said you wanted extra crispy.”

“Yeah, crispy, _not burned_.”

Biting his tongue to keep himself from snapping back, Felix nodded to the man and promised to bring him a replacement-free of charge.

On his way back to the kitchen, a hand caught his wrist and pulled him off to the side to one specific table, an arm coming up to wrap around his waist. “Peter, I'm working,” he immediately protested, trying to pull back.

“I'm hungry,” Peter teased, going to kiss him.

Still annoyed, Felix shoved the extra crispy chicken sandwich into his boyfriend's hands, turned on his heel, and left.

 

**Massage**

Felix hummed, smile widening and flashing his pearly whites as silver eyes glanced back around at the boy with magic fingers.

“Told you you'd like it,” Peter gloated, sensually massaging Felix's overworked body and delighting in the moans, gasps, and hums that rewarded him.

Felix may as well have melted. His mind was mush and his body refused to so much as twitch as those skilled hands...

Gasping, Felix buried his face in a pillow and enjoyed the torturous pleasure while it lasted. “Peter,” he mumbled into the cloth.

“Hm, this is going to be a long night,” Peter announced with a dark chuckle and a seductive smirk, dipping his head to kiss Felix's back between the shoulder blades.

 

**Pilot**

Assessing himself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror, Felix felt ridiculous. Smoothing his hands down the navy blue skirt, he observed how it fitted to his long legs. That part was fine, as were the baby blue blouse and jacket the same shade as the skirt, when compared to the heels. He had been wearing them off-and-on throughout the day, trying to get the hang of walking on them, but still stumbled and face-planted the ground if the floor was uneven.

The skit was that he was a flight attendant-a female one, to be specific-and that he (she) was servicing his (her) pilot.

Felix wondered why he had even agreed to this. Well, to be frank, it wasn't so much that he had agreed to this as not argued when Peter brought it up; his king was awfully persuasive.

After running his fingers through his hair one last time, Felix declared himself 'ready' and went into the other room, where Peter had been waiting for him.

 

**Wealthy**

Peter was not used to having money. Before, when he was Malcolm, it had been scarcer than giants. When he did have it, it was wasted on alcohol. Now, he simply didn't need it; he either conjured it up himself or stole it.

Felix likewise had no concept of 'wealth'. Before Neverland, he was leading a gang of street rats that stole, cheated, and killed to survive. It was that mercilessness that had tempted Peter into taking him in the first place.

Here, where Peter was a god and Felix his favored disciple (among other things). The world's concept of being wealthy simply didn't compare.

 

**Cube**

Peter was the kind of person that needed constant entertainment, so, as much as he liked memorizing his Felix's face in the drowsy hours of early morning, he was bored and barely resisting the urge to poke him. It was only so often they had a lay-in, and he was hesitant to leave the warm cocoon they shared.

Slowly leaning back, he picked a Rubik's cube off the nightstand and used it to distract himself. Not even trying to solve it, he simply moved the rows and columns back and forth, finding pictures in the colorful blocks.

Of course his damned phone picked that moment to start going off.

 


	2. Second Set

**Bet**

It had been a very foolish thing, Felix knew. He should have never accepted that bet with Rufio. There was no way in hell he was going to even try to seduce the leader of the forever feared and partly respected Lost Boys. While he had been a member since longer than he could remember, and had swiftly risen through the ranks until he was Pan's lieutenant, his right hand, Felix was not so stupid as to assume it was because Pan wanted him in his bed, as Rufio had.

That was the point of the bet: to get the idiot to stop making those innuendos every time Felix mentioned the brunette. They never ceased to grate on his nerves, for the simple fact that the blonde only wished they were true.

Discarding his earlier doubts, Felix focused on that one perk of winning the bet to keep himself from backing out-that just wasn't him.

So Felix went, invaded his leader's personal space and perched himself on the boy's luxurious bed. Not for one moment did he forget he was an interloper, and not for one moment did he stop wishing he could forget his pride enough to admit he was defeated.

He was startled from his thoughts by Pan himself, freezing up. “What are you doing here, Felix?”

“Winning a bet,” he informed, hiding everything behind a carefully crafted mask.

“What kind of bet?”

“The one about you not being interested in me. Sexually.”

Pan definitely looked interested now, and Felix hoped this didn't end in his death. The boy had such a temper, after all. “You bet against that? Me being attracted to you.”

“Yes, of course.”

“I'm afraid you lost then.”

Rufio was only too happy to collect his winnings the next morning, eyes gleaming when he noticed Felix's slight limp. “It gets better with time,” he assured, laughing at his friend's annoyed expression.

 

**Breath**

Felix tried desperately to reach the surface, cursing his adversary for sending them both overboard. The bitch had skipped out on bail, and Felix had been assigned to retrieve here. He felt something enclose around his ankle pulling him under. Looking down, he saw _her_ , holding onto him, trying to take him down with her. Thrashing wildly, he managed to kick her off, but lost most of his strength in the process.

Sinking, he was grateful that he could at least have this, this serenity in a life that was always so hectic. Fish swam by, seaweed waved in the current and-

Someone's arm was around his waist, pulling him up towards the surface. Turning his head with what little strength hadn't been sapped, he saw a familiar face. Peter Pan, captain of the smuggling ship they were both supposed to be on now, the one who had been trying to recruit him, making several sexual overtures along the way.

Felix's last thought before losing consciousness was that if he woke up in one piece, he might take his savior up on both offers.

 

**Ravioli**

“You've _what_?” Peter asked, expression incredulous.

“I've never had ravioli.”

“I can't believe this. This is changing. Now.”

“It's not that big of a deal,” Felix assured, trying to weasel his way out of trying the pasta.

“Yes, it is!”

“I will give up and make us ravioli for dinner the night after you order us pizza with sardines on it. And we would both eat both foods and _like it.”_

“Ravioli is edible, sardines are not,” Peter argued, but stopped pushing the matter.

Hiding a smile in his cup, Felix enjoyed the ensuing silence.

 

**System**

There was a system in place for the Lost Boys. A familial system, to be exact, and it had been established by accident and kept secret from both Mom and Dad. Mom was Felix, the one that bandaged their wounds, made sure they each got their fill at meal times, and taught them. Dad was Peter Pan, the one that disciplined misbehavior, gave the orders, and allowed them their independence when Mom wanted to baby them a little too much.

The boys weren't sure whether Peter and Felix would laugh or turn homicidal if they found out what they were called behind their backs. Some of the older ones knew that Peter was already aware and one part amused and one part happy about it. Felix had to have his suspicions, but he kept them to himself, going about his mom-like duties day after day.

 

**Clippers**

“You need to clip your nails more,” Peter observed, tilting the clippers at a better angle.

“Thanks for doing this.”

“You do it for me all the time.”

“But...” Felix trailed off, not wanting to vocalize his doubts.

“Felix,” Peter prompted.

“You're my leader, my _king_.”

“What good would any king be without a _queen_?” Peter asked, laughing at the nonplussed look that earned him. Then he sobered. “I am being serious, you know.”

“I know,” Felix replied with a smile. He loved these domestic moments, no matter how short they were.

“I wonder what the camp looks like right now, with both of us gone.”

“They can handle a few hours on their own.”

Peter gave him a _look_ , and they both laughed.

“Bet you a blowjob something's on fire.”

 

**Horsepower**

Felix knew he should have been afraid when he saw the new car Peter had gotten. With that horsepower...

It was only when a police car pulled up behind them and turned on its sirens that something came to the blonde's mind.

“You stole this, didn't you.”

“We'll be fine,” Peter assured, flooring it. Holding onto his seat, Felix watched with a mixture of fear and awe as his boyfriend pulled a dozen fancy maneuvers that should have made the car flip within the span of ten minutes, driving and laughing like the maniac he was as he led the cop-and his two new friends-on the most ridiculous car chase Felix ever had the misfortune of being part of.

Maybe he was dreaming.

 

**Stone**

“Have you ever turned anyone to stone?” Felix asked one lazy morning.

“No, why do you ask?”

“I think you might be the only person with magic that hasn't done that trick.”

“Maybe,” Pan acknowledged.

“Why haven't you?”

“It seems like the most passive aggressive way to kill someone. I can think of much better.”

“That you can,” Felix responded, remembering Peter's more creative butchering. Leaning closer into his lover's/teacher's personal space, he asked, “Who's the next target, Mr. All Powerful Sorcerer?”

“Cheeky assistant,” Peter grumbled. “A boy named Henry. Henry Mills.”

“And why are we after this boy?”

“He's the key, to true immortality. For both of us.”

 

**Ladder**

Felix had always been a fast climber of any ladder, real or proverbial. His body was slender but strong, his control over it unwavering. His spirit was fiercely loyal. His mind sharp, a weapon all on its own. He was _useful_ , diligent in his work.

Therefore, it surprised no one when he was named Pan's lieutenant. The only one who was would be Felix himself.

The blonde was the type of person who had been through much, to the point where he was blinded to the value in anything. All he could see were the faults. When he looked in the mirror, he saw angles too sharp to be considered 'attractive'. When he reflected on himself, words like 'belligerent' and 'failure' came to his mind. To him, his successes paled in comparison.

It was fortunate, then, that Pan was just perfect enough for the both of them, and just loving enough to let Felix see his own value, too.

 

**Flowerpot**

Screaming in frustration, Peter grabbed the closest thing at hand and chucked it at the wall. He immediately regretted the action.

The victim of his rage had shattered, over a dozen pieces littering the ground. It had been a flowerpot, white with abstract green designs. Felix had taken a ceramics class for the expressed purpose of making it for him, delivering it to him on Valentine's day, filled with more species of flower than Peter could recognize. Each had its own meaning, but Peter hadn't paid attention to the blonde's explanation. Instead, he had nodded his head in false understanding, watched the plants die, and had then had the audacity to throw them out without a care. Because that's how their relationship had been: Felix was the sentimental fool that was unlucky enough to love an overgrown, self-obsessed child.

Now the flowerpot was broken and Felix was dead. Killed by that _fucking bitch_ who hadn't the mind to watch where she was _fucking going_.

Now the flowerpot was broken, and Felix was gone.

_And he was never coming back._

 

**Fare**

“I can pay it,” Felix protested, but Peter waved him off and payed the fare.

“You are not paying for a thing today,” the brunette declared. “Now get on the carousel.”

“I can't believe this.”

“It'll be fun,” Peter assured, pulling them both into the carriage. Before the blonde could get a word in edgewise, Peter stuffed a bit of cotton candy into his mouth, laughing in his face.

Elbowing him in the stomach, Felix re-situated himself into a more comfortable position using the brunette as support. “It is beautiful up here,” he admitted, smiling at the children screaming for joy as they roughhoused with their friends, at the lights shining down on them from every angle.

Smirking in self-satisfaction, Peter leaned back and relaxed, waiting for the ride to start up again.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, 'Ravioli' is a sorta-sequel to 'Sardines'.
> 
> As for 'Flowerpot'...I did not expect that, myself. :P


	3. Third Set

**Ladybug**

Felix stared down at the red-and-black insect, silver eyes wide with wonder at the teeny creature. It was unbelievably small, delicate.

And that was when a foot stomped down on top of it.

“Peter!” he protested, ready to scold the child though he knew nothing would come of it.

There was only a year's age difference between them, but it made all the difference. Felix, aged seven, was usually calmly curious, showing a surprising maturity. Peter was a complete brat. He almost always got what he wanted, and knew how to manipulate his parents into getting it for him when he himself couldn't.

Felix was admittedly spiteful about that fact, never getting much. So he glared at the boy, waiting for him to slink off with either a pout or a grin as was their usual routine.

Peter wasn't going away though, and instead attached himself to the blonde's side.

Irritated at the change, Felix tried to pry him off, but failed. He couldn't really do much as the brunette's parents were carefully watching, and would report to their neighbor, Felix's mother, anything they saw as 'wrong', i.e. denying their son cuddles. They were those kind.

Sulking, Felix accepted the affection, sullenly squashing the part of him that didn't mind.

 

**Disfigured**

It annoyed Peter how on edge the crowds made Felix, how they would stare at him, at his scars, as if they made him disfigured. They saw them as some kind of mutant that was not supposed to be there. The brunette was disgusted, both by this and how spineless they were about it. Every time emerald silver or emerald eyes glanced in their direction they would go still as a stone, and fix their stare on something else, acting as though they hadn't been judging them.

Peter was a very outgoing person, as was Felix. The people would have to get used to their presence, and quiet their murmurs.

You would think they would know better than to test his patience like this.

 

**Disrupt**

Peter was the kind you avoided. He tended to disrupt anything he was made a part of, your learning, your hobbies, your life in general. He was trouble, and everyone knew it.

Everyone, that it, except for a certain blonde. Felix, the new kid and Peter's current prey.

As the brunette chatted up the delightfully sassy and clever blonde, he thought to himself that he might keep this one, just a while. Until he grew bored enough to throw him away, anyhow. There was no harm in a pet to entertain and...'service'...him. So to speak. This one would be quick to learn and slow to turn away, he could tell that already.

 

**Polite**

“You really need to learn to be more polite, Felix,” Peter hissed into his ear, bringing his hand back and smacking the blonde's bottom.

Biting his lip to prevent the escape of any inappropriate noises, Felix waited for this part of it to end. He should have knocked before entering, he reflected. He'd interrupted Peter's 'private time', and now the brunette was getting off on 'punishing' him.

He suspected this wouldn't be over after his spanking, and hoped that he would get enough sleep so as not to fall asleep in his duties tomorrow and have to be 'punished' again.

Felix swore Peter set this all up on purpose.

 

**Hive**

The Lost Boys had a sort of hive mind. They were all able to tell what another Lost One was thinking or feeling in a given situation without so much as looking at them. This cruel web of heartless children was the closest thing to 'family' as they were going to get. It was a lesson everyone had to learn and adapt their lives to. That didn't make it any easier.

The Lost Boys weren't _okay_ by any extension of the imagination.

But they were surviving, and there were those moments of genuine happiness that made the other bullshit worth it.

Felix's was in the early morning when he and Peter were the only ones still awake. Skinny dipping in the lake, playing childish games among the trees, lazying about and discussing what Peter wanted-for what Peter wanted, Felix wanted.

 

**Brother**

“Peter, stop it, you're my brother!” Felix protested, pushing the slightly younger boy away from him.

Said boy glared at him, stepping forward and re-affirming his grip on the slender blonde's arms. “I don't care.”

“Well, you should!”

“We aren't related by blood,” Peter reasoned.

“No, but we were raised together!” Felix responded, resolutely pulling away. “We can't do this, Peter. I'm sorry. I think we should stop sharing rooms.”

He didn't notice how Peter's eyes darkened when he walked away. He didn't notice the smirk spread on the boy's face at the challenge, excited for his newest conquest.

 

**Servant**

“Aren't you a little young to be a butler?” the boy questioned, sitting in his chair like it was a throne.

“I assure you I am old enough, young master Peter,” Felix responded, stifling the flicker of annoyance before it could creep into his voice. He could see why his predecessors had quit already.

“That or Mother's just desperate. How much is she paying you, I wonder?”

“Enough to live off of,” Felix vaguely answered.

“What are your regular duties?”

“Those have yet to be set. Your mother only requested that I do my best to serve the family, namely you,” the blonde hesitantly offered, trying not to twitch. He was as desperate as the boy's mother: he _needed_ this job.

And there was that slimy smirk he'd been dreading.

“Excellent.”

 

**Lonesome**

“Why are you out here all on your lonesome, Felix?” Peter questioned, settling beside his lieutenant.

“Needed time to think, get my thoughts sorted out,” Felix answered, immediately turning all his attention to the brunette.

“Something bothering you? Or some _one_?”

Peter had always been too perceptive.

“Who is it?” the brunette next asked, frowning at the lieutenant's silence. It wasn't outright insubordination, and seeing as Felix was typically obedient, Peter allowed the offense without retaliation.

Felix still tensed, colored at his subtle impudence. Peter did not take kindly to being ignored, after all.

Wanting this confrontation over with, and inwardly squirming with discomfort at the thought of continuing with this insolence, he answered honestly: “You.”

Peter frowned, displeased at the admission. “I am bothering you?”

“No, no. You are just on my mind. All the time.”

“And do these thoughts ever cross into adult territory?”

“....Yes.”

“I see. Meet me at the treehouse by dark.”

 

**Agent**

This was embarrassing. Felix was well-accomplished, the best of the best. He may have looked young, but he had years of experience protecting his country behind the scenes, doing what the military would only make a mess of. He did whatever was necessary, and left no evidence behind he was ever there.

And he had been caught, by some brat playing 'agent'. Said brat was staring up at his prize with a glee that made the blonde's stomach churn.

He had been caught by the most stereotypical trap. A goddamned net.

To be fair, this was what you saw in _Scooby-Doo_. This was not supposed to ever happen in real life.

“I've finally caught you,” the boy said, voice filled with good cheer at his accomplishment. “You have no idea how long I have been trying to do that. You see, I require a certain kind of professional's help for a personal matter of mine.”

“I'm not a mercenary!” What the _hell_? He was MI6.

“You misunderstand me. I do not require a _mercenary_. I require an agent. The job pays well, I assure you. It certainly has some perks.”

“Are you trying to seduce me?” Felix sputtered at the look he was given.

“Of course, it is my hope that we will spend much of our time together with you under me on a flat surface,” Peter drawled, sounding almost _bored._

“Stop talking about this like it's the weather or something people just _talk_ about! And you would not top, either! Not that this is up for debate.”

“I didn't expect you to be easy. We'll see about who proves dominant in the end.”

 

**Nervous**

“This is why we can't have nice things,” Rufio groaned, glaring at the script before him. “Why did you let me agree to this?”

“You'll do fine,” Felix absently assured, scanning through his own.

“It's _Alice in Wonderland_ , performed within the German Expressionist style. What the _fuck_ does that even mean?”

“Think of it as _American McGee's Alice_. Only with the same plot as the original.”

Rufio relaxed at the explanation. It was then that Peter finally showed up.

“Nervous?” he asked.

“No,” Felix answered, leaning forward to peck Peter on the lips and ignoring Rufio's disgusted face. “Who are you playing?”

“The Cheshire Cat. Who are you two?”

“I'm the Caterpillar,” Rufio answered.

“Knave of Hearts,” said Felix.

“Shame, you would have made a good Alice, Felix,” Peter stated.

Rufio burst out in laughter while Felix simply rolled his eyes, ignoring his boyfriend in favor of his chicken sandwich.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah....Drop a comment if you can. :)
> 
> My mind is mush. I'll try communicating with people again later.

**Author's Note:**

> 'Pilot' and 'Massage' were /this/ close to bumping the rating up to 'explicit'. Seriously. 
> 
> Also, sardines. I have not tried them and I never will. Apologies to those that love them.


End file.
